sweetheartj

08:20 pm: So my AOL is being deleted so I'm using my school email now: jessil@eden.rutgers.edu
Have a good weekend everyone! Be careful in this weather.
-Jessica
P.S. I swear I'm allergic to my roommate. I feel terrible right now... :(

11:17 pm: ...
So my cousin died today...
Isn't this a great month. My boyfriend is gone. He moved away. My cousin's gone. They said she was getting better... No one was there with her. Dying alone has to be one of the worst things in the world. :( Anything else? Oh right, stupid ppl who make us call the police at 4am and the other ones that ring the bell and bang on our door. 4 exams next week... Perfect... I feel like I lost part of myself somewhere...

04:14 am: It's my birthday! Happy New Year everyone!

04:21 pm: 2 down, 1 to go. One more final at 8am on Thurs morning and then Christmas break! Thank goodness. To everyone that is going through a tough time right now, I wish you the best with everything. You'll get through it all. If you need a friend, you know where I am. Happy holidays everyone!

03:42 am: Guys suck
I hate guys. They're stupid and they lie. He better be glad I was sober. Don't ever call me a bitch and get in my face.

02:53 pm: It's been a bad yr
This has been one of the absolute worst years of my life. I don't know how much more I can take. I think that Jason and I might break up today... Unless something changes, this is gonna be one of the hardest things that I'm going to have to do. Maybe I just have bad luck... Hopefully my mouth will heal soon. The doctor's office was like take Percocet. Yeah, ok. And then I'll fall asleep... Time for class.

Edit: 8:09pm
Omg... I feel so stupid right now. Jason was in car accident a week and a half ago. Obviously this freaked me out. His hand is in a cast and whatever. :( He didn't want to talk to anyone which explains the whole disappearing act. So, that created an awkward situation as to not telling him what I was going to tell him cuz it doesn't make sense now. This made him think I was pregnant, which of course I found hysterical, but uh yeah... we're good. I just hope he gets better soon. <3

12:07 am: Lol
Who names their child Virgin? Isn't that asking for that child to be ridiculed? Oh man... Lol.

In other news, I get my wisdom teeth pulled at 945. This is gonna be a great week.

On an end note, guys do the dumbest things ever. I'm officially annoyed with guys again. Aren't there any nice ones left?

-Jess

12:45 am:

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

11:37 pm: Sometimes all you need to do is to reconnect with an old friend. Thanks, it's like we've picked up where with left off. Don't ever think that you're less of a person than you really are. No one is living your life but you, so why not live it to the fullest? Be the best that you can be and be happy because that's all that matters. Your true friends will always be there through thick and thin. Those who aren't were never really that important in the 1st place. Only you control your future. Make it a good one. Thank God for another day. Have a good weekend everyone and may God be with you all.

11:37 pm:

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!

03:38 am: So.. Tim passed away on Wed morning. :( There were a lot of ppl at his funeral. That just shows how great of a person he was.
Timothy Eland
Sept. 5, 1982-August 24, 2005
May your spirit be with us forever and may you rest in peace.

In other news, I'm back at RU this semester. I'm living in the Richardsons. Time for bed. Meeting the bf in the morning. <3 Jason
Goodnight all.
~Jess~

11:19 pm: :-(
Ok, so the happiness lasted a whole what 5 days? Jason's good. It has nothing to do with him. Yesterday my doctor told me that I have an ovarian cyst. This is like one of the most painful things ever so I'm not really feeling great right now. Now today, I found out that a friend of mine named Tim E. is in the hospital. He was in a really bad motorcycle accident last night and he only has a 50% chance of living. I pray to God that he's ok. He has a son that's like 5, if that, and I can't even imagine what that's like for him or his family. I'm also friends with his gf and I know that she must a wreck. As much as I want to go to the hospital and see them, I can't. I'm scared of going. I don't know how to explain it. I just want him to be ok...

Edit: His son is only two, so that's even worse...

02:52 am: :)
New boys are always good. ;) Haha. I think for the 1st time in awhile, I'm actually happy.

01:53 pm:

Your Birthdate: January 3

Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. You are affectionate and loving, but sometimes too sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

01:32 am: And finally things are getting better... :)
After a long night at work, making cookies was a perfect idea. Who's gonna yell at me at 1am to not make cookies if no one's home. My parents and my brother were in Longbranch for my dad's company's Christmas party and what not. I was home by myself til like 2 this afternoon. Ironically, just 12 hours earlier, the boy came to visit me. :) It all started because of the cookies. Haha. So yeah, we watched a movie and then fell asleep for like 2 hours and then I woke up and realized that it was 6:15am. So, he went home and I went to bed at like 7. He can be annoying, but he's a sweetheart. Lol. Everything was good except for me falling off of the couch. You'd think that I'd know how big the couch is, but hey I haven't been home for that long. Haha. I'm glad that the two of us are finally getting somewhere. We'll see what happens. ;) Secret Santa with the roomies at 2. Til later. ~*Jess*~

10:44 pm: :) Guess who's back!
Being held/hugged like I'm never going to be let go is a great feeling. *Sigh.* I think... well I'll say that boys don't suck anymore. Haha. Him and I are working things out and she (the one that messed everything up in the first place) is miserable. Neither one of us wants anything to do with her. I find that kinda funny. Does that make me mean? Lol.

I'll end this with funny convos of the day (you may have had to be there for them to be funny...).
J: I just wanna go to sleep.
R: You want me to tuck you in?
J: You're gonna come all the way to Rutgers to tuck me in?
R: I'll make it worth my while.
J: Oh? Haha...

Boys will be boys... It's funny how I call them boys and they're older than I am. Lol.

S: Shake, shake, shake that ass girl...
T: Shake that ass, show me what you're working with...
S: Dude, that's not even the same song.

Haha. Time to get back to studying... Last day of classes tomorrow! Spanish in class final tomorrow. Wish me luck!
~*Sweet dreams all.~Jess~*~

11:41 pm: I hate stupid idiotic people that like to piss me off
So you know, I was finally like oh whatever I'm not really in a bad mood and hate people anymore and then tonight happens. I talk to one of Shawn's best friends. I <3 her, she's great. Anyway, she was like what happened and whatever. So I tell her and she's like, "She lied about everything. She just wanted to get him away from you and have him pay a lot of attention to her. He would never do that to you." Omg, I hate stupid stupid sluts that think they're friends with me and whatever. I don't befriend bitches, but I can be one. Why be nice? It's not like it's really done very much, has it? You know what, she's in my town and she needs to get the hell out.

02:08 am: And everything is gone...
I've basically lost everything and I don't know what to do anymore. The little girl with all the answers is no longer a little girl and she's lost. I've actually gotten to the point where I am having an emotional breakdown. My hands are shaking and if I have blood in me it doesn't feel like it. And suddenly everything just turns cold...

04:41 am: I took this from Nicole's profile
But what is a Jersey girl? She's humble but ambitious. She's independent but family oriented. She likes eating pizza, drinking beer, having great hair, and wearing lots of mascara, but don't think for a moment she's not sophisticated. Jersey girls are about attitude. She's got a mouth on her. She says what she means. A Jersey girl is crunchy on the outside and soft in the center. She has the tenacity and drive of a New Yorker, but with the beauty of warmth and humility that being from Jersey is all about. She's got a nice, cheerful laugh. She's spunky and witty, and she handles competition very well. She's got confidence. Whatever work she does, she gives it her all.
Bottom line: she's sexy as hell and if you're lucky, she's yours.---From THE STAR LEDGER

01:11 am: A Broken Heart...
What do you do when someone breaks your heart and you have to act like everything is ok? Tonight in particular was hard, but I guess I got through it. We'll see what tomorrow holds... I'm very upset and bitter right now, but I guess that's understandable... I just want to punch him...
Have you ever wanted to cry but you knew that you had to be strong for everyone else? Yeah, that's how I feel right now... Maybe my brother was right and I'm not good enough for anyone... *sigh*

Only time heals a broken heart... </3 -Jessica-